As a parent, 2 years ago today was the scariest day of my life. Nothing can prepare you to be told the doctors are pretty sure your 3 year old son has diabetes and you need to go to the cities to Children’s Hospital via an ambulance. Yet there I was, sitting by my sweet Monkey as he was wrapped in warming blankets with tubes in his arms and tears coming down my face as the driver told me ‘you better put the seatbelt on, we are going to be going fast.’ The severity still hadn’t sunk in until he said those 13 words. I think I cried and prayed the entire way to the hospital.
To be honest, just remembering and writing about it still brings tears to my eyes. And when I see an ambulance drive by my heart still skips a beat. This might be the therapeutic writing my husband was talking about.
Thankfully I have an amazing husband who went home to get our 6 month old, Peanut, a mom who dropped everything to come up in a snow storm from Iowa and a mother-in-law who had been visiting that would sit with Peanut so Cory and I could both be with Monkey while he was being admitted.
To say those next 5 days were kind of a blur would be an understatement. From the confirmation that ‘yes, your son has Type I Diabetes’, to all of the education around blood glucose testing, insulin and research around food, my brain was on overload. All I wanted to do was hold Monkey and Peanut and never let go but we had to be the parents and get informed and try to figure out what was next for us.
The beautiful thing about marriage is that most often it seems each person excels at something the other doesn’t. For us one of those things is research. Cory’s coping mechanism is to become as informed as possible and he’s a pro at it and allowed me to pretty much just snuggle my sweet boy, which is my coping mechanism. Cory would repeatedly tell me it would be ok as I was telling Monkey the same thing.
Then there is the beauty of family. My mom and mother-in-law were here and took on the responsibility of the 6 month old. He was still nursing at the time so they would stay with us in the hospital room all day and then after he nursed one more time in the evening they would drive back to our house in WI so he could sleep. They would then turn around and come back the next morning. At the same time she was taking care of Peanut, my mom also cleaned the house, did the laundry and took care of the dog and cat so that when we came home we could focus on Monkey.
A lot has happened in 2 years. We now have a 5 year old little boy who deals with getting his finger poked 6-10 times a day and getting 6 shots of insulin a day like a champ. His strength amazes me on a daily basis. And that 6 month old is now a crazy 2 year old that loves his brother more than I ever thought possible. We continue to battle the disease every day. There is no reasoning behind any of it and when you think you have a grasp or understanding, his little body laughs in your face with an extreme high or low blood sugar reading.
One thing hasn’t changed in 2 years and that’s my struggle with the lack of control I have over Type I Diabetes. I plan to use this blog to discuss the struggles we have on a weekly basis as well as some of the mile stones we get past as a family. And, on those weeks when things are going good, I hope to put in some new recipes and pictures of a cheesecake that Monkey and I have made together.
I’ve come to realize, It’s all under control, just not by me.