It’s been quite a long time since I’ve blogged and honestly, I should have been blogging all along because it’s been a stressful time the last few months. To say things have been changing in our family would be an understatement.
Monkey finished 4-K and with that came the decision on what to do for kindergarten. I’ve struggled with this decision for over a year. We moved to this area because the schools are great and the teachers are amazing. Little did I know we would be basing our decision on what to do for school on a health concern. We’ve been fortunate enough to have the boys at an amazing daycare with a very dear friend of ours. Ms. Jessica loves our boys almost as much as we do and has treated Monkey for the past year. And if she isn’t treating him, she is watching him on the Dexcom app on her phone. Working an hour away it’s been a blessing to have a school and someone like that looking after the boys. In kindergarten that goes away. There are so many more kids and we would no longer have Ms. Jessica at school.
The decision we made was for me to stay home with the boys and homeschool them. I’m so excited about this now but honestly it took me some time to be comfortable with the decision and Cory was on board quite a bit before I was. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to spend more time with my sweet babies, heaven knows there were days when I would only see Peanut for 30 minutes to an hour because he was so tired and we had to get up so early, it was more that I had to be comfortable and confident that this was the right decision for our family.
So many questions going through my head. Is this right for our family? Can I do it? Can we make it? The financial number cruncher in me was terrified, even though I started to feel like it was the right thing to do in my heart.
Then one day I heard a song (Still by Hillary Scott) and Cory sent me a song (I’m Letting Go by Francesca Battistelli) and in that moment ‘I knew’. It was the right thing for our family. The lyrics would take too much room but I highly recommend using the links and listening to the songs.
It’s now been 2 weeks at home and both boys have gotten more sleep which is amazing. We’ve had water balloon fights with friends, gone swimming, visited the library and gone to a petting zoo. Things that I haven’t been able to do with them, ever, or we have to pack it all in to a weekend when they need to be resting. I won’t sugar coat it either, they are boys we had a gusher of a bloody nose the first day because someone fell and there have been moments each day when I have thought ‘what they heck, why can’t you just get along and speak at a level that isn’t going to break some sort of sound barrier?’. But then 30 seconds later they will give me a hug and say ‘I love you momma’.
This wasn’t my original dream for my life, I always imagined going to college, getting a job – working my way up in said job – and having kids. I never imagined that I’d be staying at home but here I am, living my new dream where I get to spend more time with the boys, do more writing and eventually we will do some baking.
Oh yeah, and at the end of 2 weeks is the first time I’ve had a cup of coffee and it was a regular sized coffee, not a mega coffee that I drink on the way to work to wake up.
It’s all under control, just not by me. God was in control, I just had to listen.